Finding the right doula for YOU
How to find YOUR kinda doula
Finding the right doula for you is a very personal thing. For any doula to be able to support and nurture you, you both need to feel like it's the right fit – and this goes both ways. Here are a few tips and questions that may help you know what to look for and what to ask…
How do they make you feel on your connection call? Does the convo flow? Is it a two-way flow of conversation? Do you feel comfy or awkward? Take the time after the call to notice and think about this.
Do you vibe with each other? Is there a spark?
Did you feel genuinely listened to, or did it feel like they just wanted to tell you how they would support you without asking questions or listening deeply to you when you shared?
These are my top three points to pay attention to when on a call with a possible doula. Afterwards, here are some questions you might find helpful to find out what style and kind of support they love to offer. Every doula is different, and their values of support and mothercare are different, so finding out what they are is also another way to work out if they are your kind of doula.
1. What are their core values of doula support? These are mine to give you an idea of what I mean.
2. What is their ‘why’? Why do they do this work?
3. What are their pillars of support?
4. How many other fams do they support at a time?
5. What weekly sessions and times do they set aside for doula support?
6. Are they fluid and flexible in how they support?
This connection call with a doula is about finding out if you are each other's kind of people. It's a connection that goes both ways, so sharing what your hopes or fears are, what things are important to you in terms of support – and what perhaps is not – is also helpful to share with the doula so they, too, can get an idea of what's important to you and if they are right for you and vice versa.
Feeling comfy around your doula is, in my opinion, number one! A fab doula I know once said “As a doula, all you need is your heart and your hands. Everything else is a bonus.” To me, this two-way connection is the core of what's important when finding the right doula for you.